It's fun to reinvent yourself

Happy Thursday, Clubbies,

I cut off six inches of hair.

Sounds dramatic. It's really not. I like changing things up, and I do it often.

The haircut isn't my biggest change, though. Not even close.

Toward the end of my drinking days, I told myself I couldn't change. Everybody knew me as the Jameson guy. That's just who I was.

Except it wasn't. I'd done this before.

I moved across the ocean in high school, didn't know a soul, and barely spoke English. When you've rebuilt your identiy from scratch once, changing your drink order is a warm-up.

In 2023, I went from the guy who always had a Jamo or a beer in his hand to the guy who just drinks club soda. Overnight.

Now there are people who don't even know my name. They just say "Hey, Club Soda guy!" And honestly? I'm loving it.

What I learned about changing: the hard part isn't the first rep. It's every rep after, when you have to decide all over again.

Unless you don't.

Once you're the club soda guy, the decision's already made. You walk in, and the bartender's already reaching for a lime.

That's not discipline. That's identity.

Which means labels matter. Especially the ones you give yourself.

Say "that's just who I am" enough times and you'll believe it. I used to say it all the time. "I'm just not good with money." "I'm a whiskey guy." "I'm the fun one."

Self-labels let me avoid responsibility and hide the fact that I just haven't learned the systems yet.

Now I say this instead: "I haven't been great with money. But I'm working on it." Same facts. Different identity.

Re-thinking your relationship with alcohol is a great starting point.

Pick an order. Make it specific. Make it yours. Mine is "the best club soda you have, on the rocks, with a lime." Same words, every time.

Not going fully alcohol-free? Same play. Alternate a club soda on the rocks between glasses of wine. Or make your signature move this line: "I'm not going home. I'm just done drinking."

Say it enough and people start saying it for you.

Three years in, I've developed close relationships with people who have never experienced the old me. They've only ever known the club soda guy.

That's the cheat code. Every new person you meet gets the new you by default.

Want to be someone who works out? Switch gyms. Try Hotworx, Solidcore, whatever. Everyone you meet there only knows you as the person who shows up.

Same goes for a new run club, a new class, a new neighborhood. New room, new you.

I've still got deep friendships with people who've known both guys, too.

The first few times, you'll get eyebrows. Especially if you were always the "one more round" friend.

"You're not going to keep drinking?"

"Since when?"

Some friends will try to put you back in the old box. Not because they're bad friends. The old you was just familiar.

Keep ordering it your way anyway. Do it until it's boring. Boring means it stuck.

Reinventing yourself sounds big, but usually it's small. A haircut. A new gym. A new order, said the same way every time.

Don't be a prisoner of what you've always done. Every tiny change gets you closer to the person you actually want to be.

South Florida, come meet people who'll only ever know this version of you. This Monday, 6pm, General Provision.

Stay Sparkling,

Sorin

produced by Scott Nixon

Tony Kost is back on the show (you may remember him from Episode #3), and he’s now a little over a decade into the Club Soda Club. In this episode, he shares the morning in a restaurant attic that changed everything, why believing he could do it was harder than actually doing it, and the surprise that still gets him: he found everything he was chasing on the other side. Plus the Godfather reference behind his bar order 🤌.

Know someone who's thinking about it? There's no membership requirement.

Part-time members, full-time members, "I'm just curious" members. All welcome. So whether you've got a friend who's been saying "I should probably cut back" every Sunday morning for the last six months, or a friend who's already all-in on the alcohol-free life and just hasn't found their people yet — send them your link. They subscribe to the free newsletter, you both win. No pressure, no program, no weird pamphlets.

Basically, if they've ever ordered a club soda (or anything else alcohol-free) and felt like they had to explain themselves... they're already one of us.

👇👇👇